As students, we all need help sometimes. There is no shame in it

When you hear that high school is about becoming more independent, it is easy to misunderstand what that actually means. Independence does not mean you have to do everything completely alone. In fact, trying to handle every single problem by yourself is a guaranteed way to burn out. There is absolutely no shame in needing help—it is a mandatory part of growing up.

Think about the groups you might already belong to. If you are on a sports team, in a club, part of a band, or just have a solid group of friends, you already know the value of support. You know what it feels like to have teammates who back you up, or friends who listen when you are having a rough day. That connection is a powerful tool.

The Isolation Trap: Ego vs. Insecurity

Every once in a while, though, you might feel the urge to push people away and go it on your own. This usually happens in one of two ways, and both are dangerous traps:

Acting Superior (Ego): You might start thinking, “I don’t need these people, I can do this better myself,” or “Nobody else understands what I’m doing.”
Acting Inferior (Insecurity): You might start thinking, “I don’t fit in with them,” “I’m dragging the team down,” or “I don’t want to be a burden by asking for help.”

Whether you isolate yourself because you think you are better than everyone else, or because you think you are worse, the result is exactly the same: You end up entirely alone.

When you cut yourself off from your group, you are also cutting yourself off from the love, advice, and backup you once took for granted. You are purposely throwing away your safety net.

Calling in Backup

As you move through high school, you are going to face challenges that are simply too heavy to carry by yourself. You will face impossible deadlines, tough social conflicts, and moments where you just don’t know what to do next. You will need help.

Part of building true autonomy is having the self-awareness to recognize when you are stuck, and the courage to reach out to your team, your friends, or your mentors to say, “I can’t do this alone.”